Winning, Losing and Character Death

My 6 year old little boy, Brisco, is playing in a youth baseball league this year. It’s his first time participating in such an activity and I’m having a lot of fun, going to his games and watching him play with the other kids.

It’s kind of funny at times. After six or seven  games, the team is starting to get their act together, but it’s still kind of like watching two teams of Three Stooges Clones, playing baseball.

All the parents I’ve seen, have a really positive attitude and encourage all the kids, though they’re certainly more effusive in their efforts, when cheering their kids and their kids teammates.

During the first few games, while score was kept, it was rarely mentioned. I’m not even sure if the coaches told the players what the final tally was and my son didn’t even ask. That changed, about a week ago.

During one of the games, the team really came together and creamed their opponents. The league has a rule, that if one team is ahead of the other by nine runs, at the end of an inning, the games over. I think the game went 2 innings, my son’s team beating the other one by 12 to 3.

Suddenly, the kids were excited. They realized what they had accomplished and were thrilled, that they had won the game. In the three games since, they’ve kept up with the score, encouraged one another to “hit the ball,” and become more enthused about playing.

Yesterday, they presided over another massacre, 15 to 6. My son got to score the winning run and again the team had a lot of fun with their triumph. But, the night before had been a different story. On that night, they didn’t get their act together and they were the ones who were trounced.

Did they whine? Where they sad? Did their world come crashing down, as they cried into their baseball gloves, squalling to their parents about how unfair it all was?

Nope. It was no problem, at all. They weren’t even disappointed. “Yeah, we lost. Can we go to McDonald’s now?”

In some places, Keeping Score in kids sports is a big no-no. It might make someone Feel Bad. I suppose, this is because some adults have chosen to associate their sense of self-worth, with winning or losing a game. They then assume, that their children have learned to be so foolish. Of course, this sort of thing just teaches them to do so.

I can understand why someone might want to play an RPG, which didn’t feature character death. In some games, it might just get in the way, or fail to add anything to the experience. I think some games of that type could be a lot of fun, just like playing a game where death is virtually guaranteed, like Call of Cthulhu, can be a lot of fun. But, in D&D, the “danger,” the narrow-squeaks, the hard fought and won battles, are very much an integral part of the experience. So are the losses. If the very real possibility of character death isn’t present, then it’s not D&D.

I feel pretty comfortable, making such an absolute statement here, seeing as how the game features Hit Points, Damage Dice, Save or Die effects, Breath Weapons, Armor Classes, Randomly Generated Numbers, Weapons, Violent Spells, Traps, etc., etc., etc.! It seems set up to be pretty fucking integral. Actual play experience, bears this out as well and demonstrates the reasons why. Sessions where the players had to pull out all the stops and use every bit of their wits and playing skills to survive, are the stuff of which D&D legends are made. It’s Fun. Thrilling. Memorable. You can certainly create a perfectly balanced “D&D” game and make it so that death only happens if there’s a statistical fluke of the dice. Such a game would strike me as being a parody, but, different lanes, for different brains, as it were.

Over the years, most reactions I’ve seen to character death, have ranged from mild disappointment and/or annoyance, to “That was pretty fucking cool!” I can only recall one instance of someone getting pissed. I wasn’t running that one.

My wife has been very gracious, when I’ve killed her characters.

I’m certainly fine with a little disappointment. A more enthusiastic response, is seen on occasion. Character death can be fun and thrilling, though of course, a lame death is kind of a bummer. Unless it’s really funny. Regardless, a player who embraces this feature of the game, is a sheer joy and enhances the experience for all involved.